


It’s Not Broken

by KateKintail



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Alternate Universe - The Soulmate Goose of Enforcement, F/M, Goose-typical violence, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-09
Updated: 2018-12-09
Packaged: 2019-09-14 22:39:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16921764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KateKintail/pseuds/KateKintail
Summary: A soulmate goose appears to Remus one morning, and it won't lead him to his soulmate. He's pretty sure that it's broken.





	It’s Not Broken

**Author's Note:**

> This is a soulmate AU where one person finds a goose who leads them to the other person. The difficulty comes in not being mauled by a goose

Remus never knew quite what to expect each morning he woke up in his dormitory room in Gryffindor tower. Once, he’d found Sirius and James trying to unsuccessfully spell some sort of blue dye off each other’s hands. And their robes. And their wands. Once, he’d found about a hundred candy wrappers and bottles of butter beer strewn across the sheets of Peter’s bed only to track down Peter being sick to his stomach in the lavatory. Once he’d even found Sirius up before him doing the most unlikely thing in the world: his homework. To say he always expected the unexpected wouldn’t have been quite right, either. He loved his friends. They were supportive and fun-loving and encouraging. They were good students and bad influences. They were just what Remus wanted in a group of close friends. And no matter what he found when he woke up, his opinion of them wouldn’t change. 

At least, that’s what he thought before he woke up early one morning in his fifth year to find a goose sleeping on top of his blanket-covered chest. Remus blinked at it uncomprehendingly. It was a soft gray-brown in color with a bright orange beak. It looked sweet and peaceful as it slept, rising and falling gently with each breath Remus took in and out, but Remus knew it was anything but peaceful. He would have liked to have believed that it was a prank one of the others had pulled on him. Perhaps one of his friends was hovering just outside the hangings to his bed, hands clamped to his mouth to keep from laughing hysterically at the thought of Remus waking up to see a goose. It wouldn’t be the first time they’d pulled the fake Soulmate Goose of Enforcement gag on someone. In the second year, they’d enchanted Severus Snape’s pants to smell like goose feed, and a giant white goose followed the beaming Slytherin around for a good hour and a half before the boy actually caught on. But Remus couldn’t see why they’d go for this trick now, out of the blue. 

So he had no choice but to believe this goose was the genuine article. 

A shiver ran through his body at the thought, making the goose give a start but not wake. Remus was only sixteen; that felt too young for him to learn who his soulmate was. But he was still excited to find out. More than anything in the world, he’d wanted to come to Hogwarts to find friends. He’d found that and more in the forms of James, Sirius, and Peter. And, now, he was going to get more. The goose was going to help him find the one person who he was meant to be with forever. The person he would share his life and his secrets with. The person who would accept him for what he was. The person who would love him fully and unconditionally. Butterflies in Remus’ stomach fluttered and tears welled up in Remus’ eyes. 

He took a deep breath, the goose rising higher this time and back down again. The movement made it pull its eyes open. For a moment, they stared at each other. The goose’s black eyes reminded Remus of something, though he couldn’t’ quite put his finger on what that was. 

“Hello there,” Remus whispered to it. “I’m Remus John Lupin. I’m pleased you’re here.” 

The goose cocked its head in the opposite direction, still staring. Remus got the impression that it was looking down deep into his soul, trying to make sense of the jumble of desires and confusing emotions within him. 

Then all hell broke loose. The goose started honking so loudly it woke the whole dormitory. Remus tried to hush it with soothing tones, repeating things like, “It’s okay. Shhhh! Quiet now…” but, if anything, the goose’s honks grew louder. The worst part, though, was the flailing. The goose seemed to want to be everywhere on the bed all at once, racing from side to side, flapping its sizeable wings, snapping its strong beak. The blankets and sheets got tangled. The curtains did, too. And before Remus knew it, the goose had hopped off the bed and started going in circles around the room. 

Not even Peter Pettigrew, who had once managed to sleep through an entire incident of James getting drunk on fire whiskey and accidentally spelling Sirius to bark like a dog at full volume, could sleep through the commotion this goose was making now. It somehow managed to get trunks open and spill their contents across the room. When James looked out from behind the hangings of his bed to see what was going on, it thwaped him across the face, sending his glasses flying and smashing against the stone floor. It overturned Peter’s mattress, and snacks of every kind practically exploded from beneath, sending cheese puffs and gumballs and oddly-flavored crisps and chocolate-covered cockroach clusters absolutely everywhere, including in his hair and down his pajamas.

Through it all, Sirius stood on his bed, gripping a bedpost, staying out of the way and watching the chaos below. Remus, on the other hand, scrambled after the goose, trying to tidy and put right what was askew as best he could. The goose knocked the water stand over, the ceramic bowl and pitcher crashing to the floor and breaking. Remus went sliding on the puddle of water, grabbing whatever he could to stop his momentum, and ended up wet and bruised on the stone floor hugging James’ leg. 

The goose continued to honk so loudly that fellow Gryffindors were now knocking on the ceiling, floor, and door of their dorm room to tell them to quiet down. It wouldn’t be the first time the Marauders had woken everyone up far too early in the morning, and it certainly wouldn’t be the last. But Remus felt guilty; this time, it was his fault. He felt sore and worried and wet and a little excited still, but definitely also guilty. 

“Immobulus!” Sirius suddenly said with such force and conviction, aiming his wand right at the goose. Immediately, it ceased honking. It went stiff, freezing in place with one wing stretched out to its side and its beak wide open, about to bite Remus in the arse. 

Realizing this, Remus scrambled out of harm’s way. Using a freezing charm hadn’t even crossed Remus’ mind. For some reason, he’d just assumed a magical creature like a soulmate goose would be impervious to simple spells. He knew quite a few simple ones that failed to work on werewolves for that reason, for example. It was one of the ways of telling the difference between a werewolf and a real wolf. He was thrilled to find that this spell worked, though he couldn’t imagine it would work for very long. 

Sirius looked tired and really should have been angry at being woken up in this way. But he spoke calmly and couldn’t manage to wipe the bemused smile from his face. “Uh, Mr. Moony, what in the name of Merlin is happening? I was having the best dream of my life when I was rudely awakened by this feathery beast destroying our room. Care to explain?”

Remus wasn’t sure what kind of explanation was needed. Obviously this was a soulmate goose. Obviously this was _his_ soulmate goose. It wasn’t as though anything that had just happened had been his choice or even under his control. Remus ran the sleeve of his pajamas across his face. A streak of blood now showed against the blue and white striped fabric; either he had cut himself on a bit of glass or one of his scratches from last full moon had opened back up. He always woke up with his pjs wrinkled and his light brown hair a tangled mess, but after all that chasing and falling and goose biting, he was sure he must look about ten times worse than usual. He lifted his sore arm and pointed at the goose. “It’s here because I have a soulmate. Apparently, someone out there somewhere wants this to be theirs.” He gestured to himself, expecting to elicit a laugh from his friends at the self-deprecating humor. 

But no one laughed. James hauled himself up and Peter gathered up what little was salvageable from his snacks. Sirius kept clinging to his bedpost, still smiling. “Someone out there…” he whispered so softly no one would have been able to hear it—unless they happened to be a werewolf with heightened senses. He cleared his throat. “So what’s your plan, Moony?” 

Remus shrugged. “Guess when it unfreezes I’ll… I’ll just let it lead me where it wants me to go. That’s the fastest way to get rid of a soulmate goose, isn’t it? I want to find out who my soulmate is and keep the goose from going crazy like this again.” 

Sirius didn’t look like he approved of the plan at all but knew it wasn’t his call. He just gave a nod and hopped off the bed to collect his school uniform to change into after a shower. He left the room without saying a word. Remus could tell something was wrong when Sirius neither joked nor teased. Remus could tell something was really wrong when he went completely silent. 

Good spell caster that Sirius was, the goose remained frozen when Sirius left the room. It remained frozen while Remus changed and sent spells around the room to clean up, vanishing this, repairing that, straightening that other thing. He, more than all his friends, preferred when things were straight, neat, and tidy. The goose remained frozen while they all packed up their school bags for the day. It would have been nice if it had remained frozen while they headed down to breakfast in the Great Hall and sat through their classes for the day. 

However, the spell wore off just as Remus was grabbing his things to follow James and Peter out of the room. Sirius, as always, was fussing over something—today, it was the way his shirt was sticking out from beneath his jumper. It always took Sirius longer than the rest to make himself presentable. His look was casually rumpled, like he’d put no work into his appearance at all. When the goose unfroze, it honked once more in surprise then stumbled. It found its balance and then found Remus. It eyed him unblinkingly, and for a moment Remus thought it might charge at him. What was the purpose of a soulmate goose that killed you before it could show you your soulmate? But instead of coming after him, the goose started running in circles again. It circled the beds anxiously, this time with less destruction. 

Remus shouldered his bag and began to follow the goose, expecting it to go to the open door when it got there. But it didn’t. It kept circling. They went around the room and around again and then a third time.

“Getting dizzy yet, Moony?”

“A little,” Remus confessed. “I think my goose is kind of broken. It tries to kill me and send everything around me into complete chaos. Then it won’t do the one thing soulmate geese are supposed to do.” 

“It’s not broken. Broken isn’t the right word,” Sirius said softly. “But it is confused, I’ll give it that.” 

Sirius walked over and put his hand on Remus’ back. “If the goose arrived for you here at Hogwarts, it stands to reason your soulmate’s here at Hogwarts, right? Let’s just go down to breakfast and see what it does there.”

What it did was tear the Great Hall apart. Food went flying. Students were shrieking. Teachers were annoyed, especially the bitter, unmarried ones who were seeing a student get help finding a soulmate. Though what sort of help Remus’ goose was seemed to be open for debate. It didn’t lead him to anyone in particular. At first, Remus was a little worried it might march right up to a girl at the Slytherin table, peck her in the shin, and then disappear on them to work that out. The other Marauders would probably disown him immediately if his soulmate was a Slytherin. But Remus’ soulmate goose didn’t go to the Slytherin table or even any table specifically. His soulmate didn’t seem to be a Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, or even a Hufflepuff either. How odd. 

“I don’t get it!” Remus shouted over the commotion. “Why isn’t it showing me to my soulmate?” 

“Maybe it’s not ready to yet!” Sirius yelled back, skillfully leaning back just in time to avoid a scone sailing right past his nose. “Maybe you’re not ready to know yet!” 

Remus considered this. It was as good a theory as the goose just being defective. “I’m ready to know!” he yelled toward the goose that was trying to settle into a nest made out of the end of Dumbledore’s beard while Dumbledore was still attached to it, sitting calmly at the staff table as if this was no big deal, as if this sort of thing happened all the time at Hogwarts. The goose honked back at Remus and made no move to get up. 

“Hopeless,” Remus said, throwing his arms up in surrender. 

Sirius just smiled as he surveyed the chaos. “Whatever else the goose is for, it was definitely great for stirring up trouble. Excellent work. My compliments to you and to your goose, Mr. Moony.” He picked up his goblet that had previously been overturned, poured more pumpkin juice into it, raised it in Remus’ honor, and then took a long, satisfied drink.

*

“Moony!” James yelled, jumping back to avoid the biting goose. “Your goose shredded our latest map!”

Remus cringed. “Sorry.” Though it wasn’t truly his fault, he couldn’t help feeling largely responsible. Over the last two years, he had tried everything to get the goose to lead him to his soulmate. He’d given the goose line-ups of fellow students before classes. He’d gone out on dates with any girl the goose seemed to take even the slightest bit of interest in. He’d gone to parts of the castle he didn’t normally venture into, in case they were frequented by his soulmate. He had even shown the goose his copy of the Daily Prophet every morning, in case the goose took an interest in anyone featured in the newspaper. But all the goose ever seemed to really want to do was to hang around the dorm room and rain destruction down upon Remus and his friends. “Don’t you have the backup map though?”

“Really not the point, mate.” 

“Sorry,” Remus repeated. He flopped back onto his bed with a depressed sigh. “I don’t understand why I had to get stuck with the thing. It’s insane!” 

“It’s not insane,” said Sirius, quietly. He reached down and scooped Remus’ goose up in his arms. The goose struggled a bit, honking and trying to free its wings. Little bits of their precious, magical map trailed behind as Sirius walked the goose over to Remus’ bed and set it down. “It’s just—”

“Confused. I know!” Remus said, scrubbing his hand up and down his face as the goose nipped at his side. Sirius was like a broken record about the goose, and it never made Remus feel any better at all. In fact, right now Remus felt close to tears. This thing had been hanging around, abusing him and making his life miserable—making his friends’ lives miserable—for years now. He was more than ready to just get rid of it. “How do I get it to be unconfused though?” 

“Unconfused?” Sirius smirked, hopping up on the bed and sitting beside Remus. “Nice one, genius.”

“It is a real word,” Remus insisted. 

“Sure it is, sure it is. Next you’re going to tell me frangible and slumgullion are real words. Now that’s insane!”

Remus burst out laughing. Of course those were real words, and Sirius knew it perfectly well. But Sirius also knew Remus could never resist this game. “Eleemosynary!” Remus countered. 

Sirius thought for a moment, laughing as well. Then he glanced at the goose and offered up, “Totipalmate?” 

To which Remus replied, “Gleek!”

“Bumblepuppist!” 

“Bumblepuppist?” Remus repeated, almost unable to speak from all his laughter. His side hurt. “You win!” No matter how well-read Remus was, Sirius always won this game. 

Their laughter drowned out the sound of James’ grumbles as he dug out the other copy of the Marauder’s Map from his trunk and the sound of his footsteps as he headed out of the room. He muttered something that even Remus, with his excellent sense of hearing, didn’t catch.

*

“It’s never going to fly,” said Remus, who’d lived with a goose long enough to pick up a thing or two about flying. This motorbike didn’t even have wings or a tail. Magically enchanted or not, it was never getting off the ground.

“If I prove you wrong, will you be the first person to ride it with me?” Sirius asked, patting the rear of the bike seat. “There’s plenty of room for two.” 

Remus shrugged, so sure of himself he would have agreed to almost anything. “And when you realize I’m right about the bike, you’ll buy me a drink down at the pub.” 

“Was gonna do that anyway, mate.” 

“Well, then let’s skip this flying nonsense and go get sloshed.” These days, getting a nice buzz off fire whiskey was just about the only thing that made Remus forget about Voldemort and the war and the many, many friends who had already died. 

Sirius shook his head. “Tempting, but no. I’ve been looking forward to testing this out all week.”

“You’ve had this bike enchanted for a week and still haven’t tried it out?” That wasn’t like Sirius at all. Patience was not one of his virtues. There was absolutely no way the Sorting Hat would ever have put Sirius Black into Hufflepuff. 

Sirius looked down at the ground. “Wanted to share this moment with a friend.” He fumbled in his pocket for the keys and climbed onto the bike. He started it up, took a deep breath, and then he took off down the road. The motorbike shook a little, uncertain about what it was supposed to be doing. Then, to Remus’ astonishment, it angled upwards. It kept driving forward, but instead of being on the road, it was driving on nothing but air. It was like Sirius was jumping the bike over something and the jump never had to end. 

The bike landed a few minutes later, coming to a halt right in front of Remus. Sirius grinned broadly at Remus, who crossed his arms over his chest. “You knew that was going to work, didn’t you? You tried it out before, didn’t you?”

“Course I did,” Sirius said. He was such a liar! “But a deal’s still a deal.” He patted the seat behind him. “C’mon, Moony.” 

Begrudgingly, Remus got onto the bike, squeezing in behind Sirius. He felt exposed and unsteady. All his instincts told him to get off the bike at once. He didn’t like flying at the best of times, and he was fairly certain this was going to be much worse and much more dangerous than a broomstick. “Sirius…” he started, uncertain. And he moved to get back off the bike. 

But Sirius reached back and grabbed his forearm. “Put your arms around me and hang on. Be brave for me, Moony. I know you can be.” 

At once, Remus relaxed. He smiled and slid his arms around Sirius’ middle. His friend’s leather jacket was a little slippery, so he ended up sliding his arms under the jacket and wrapping them around Sirius’ shirt-clad torso instead. “Bring it on, Padfoot.” 

As they soared through the air together on the bike, Sirius’ barking laughter was music to Remus’ ears. Even the goose’s appearance at their side did nothing to dampen their spirits. The three of them flew together, almost as if it had been a rehearsed formation. If Sirius had had a soulmate goose as well, they could have formed a proper V shape, with the bike in the front and one goose on each side, just a little bit behind. Remus wondered why a soulmate goose had never appeared for Sirius.

*

Remus sat on the edge of his ripped and torn mattress, head in his hands, elbows on his thighs, back curved, body shaking with sobs. Each firework that went off tore at him, making the hole in his heart a little bigger. Every one of his friends was dead except Sirius. Sirius was off to Azkaban for murdering them all. And Remus didn’t see how he’d ever be able to recover from this. All he’d wanted in life were friends. And now this had happened to them. He couldn’t believe that somehow this wasn’t part of his curse, that this wasn’t his fault.

Behind him, the goose tore apart what little he had in this dingy, cheap flat. Remus couldn’t care less about the goose breaking already-chipped dishware, because he wasn’t hungry anyway. He didn’t care about the goose ripping pages from the outdated magical reference books, because his work for the Order of the Phoenix would end now that they’d won the war. He didn’t care about the goose shredding his pillow, feathers flying everywhere, because he didn’t think he’d ever be able to rest again. 

All that was real now was the unbearable, unceasing grief… and a crazy, broken goose that had never done a thing for him. 

Remus turned to see the bird eyeing a framed photo on the stack of cinder blocks that functioned as Remus’ bedside table. It wasn’t touching the photo, and Remus couldn’t figure out why, but he didn’t much care. In the photo, James and Lily were dressed for their wedding and Sirius stood beside them, goblet in hand as he made his toast. On Sirius’ other side, Remus could see a bit of blond hair and also a pudgy hand that belonged to Peter. One of those fingers was all that remained now of poor Peter after he’d tracked Sirius down. He hadn’t even gone to Remus for help; he’d tried to confront Sirius all on his own. What had Peter been thinking? Peter had to have been as consumed with grief as Remus was now. Peter had to have been out of his mind.

Remus reached for the photo to save it from the goose’s destruction, but he ended up hurling it toward the far wall instead. The glass smashed. The frame snapped. The image fell to the floor. And the goose stared at him. They looked at each other for a moment. Then Remus helped the goose tear apart the flat. 

The celebrations that marked the end of the long and bloody war continued long into the night outside the flat. Inside the flat, Remus and the goose destroyed everything they could. Because inside his heart, everything Remus cared about was already gone.

*

Remus sprang into action, the goose on his heels like always. He’d barely been able to fall asleep with it nipping at him, but more than twenty years living with the bird had caused him to build up a tolerance. He still felt the pain, of course, but he no longer cared about it. Between his self-inflicted injuries every full moon and goose-inflicted injuries every other day of the month, he was always covered in bruises or bleeding somewhere. He got sleep whenever he could, preferring naps because during naps he very rarely dreamed, which meant avoiding the nightmares.

But he wasn’t about to sleep through a dementor attack, especially when the dementor seemed to specifically be targeting James and Lily’s son. He raised his wand and, hating himself so much, feeling positively sick to his stomach, cast his memory back to a pure, strong, happy memory. It was morning in the Gryffindor dormitory and he’d just woken up to find a soulmate goose on his chest. Sirius wore an unbeatable smile as he watched Remus chase futility after the goose. He knew why this was the happiest memory he had. After all the misery, hardship, and loss he had experienced in life, he still had a goose. Somewhere out there, as impossible as it sometimes seemed to him, was his soulmate. And, one day, he’d find out who it was.

The large canine-shaped patronus burst from the end of Remus’ wand and drove the dementor out of the train compartment. It chased it all the way down the hall before returning to Remus. The soulmate goose tried to nip at the patronus, but the incorporeal form dissolved into blue-gray wisps and then vanished completely. 

Remus bent down beside the boy who looked exactly like James Potter, aside from the famous lightning bolt scar on his head. He dug around in his pockets for some chocolate as Harry’s eyelids fluttered open. And when they did, Remus felt both disconcerted and comforted all at once. There was plenty of Lily in him as well, it seemed. He had his mother’s eyes. “Here,” Remus said, handing Harry the chocolate. “It’ll help.” He passed some around to the other students in the compartment as well. Only when he’d been sure everyone had had some did he take a square for himself. He let the chocolate melt a little on his tongue, savoring the sweetness before swallowing. He offered some to the goose, who seemed to consider it for a second before biting Remus on the wrist instead. 

Remus sighed.

*

“I can’t believe you still have this goose,” Madam Pomfrey said, applying a salve to the scratch across Remus’ arm. “It hasn’t found your soulmate yet?”

Remus shook his head.

“And… if you don’t mind my asking a personal question… you don’t attack it when you transform?”

“I don’t seem to,” said Remus. Without the Marauders to help him keep his mind when he transformed, he didn’t often remember his actions on the night of the full moon. More than once, he had woken up with the goose in his arms, as if he’d either been about to eat it or had been hugging it. He wasn’t even sure which was more likely. “It’s never been injured, never even lost a feather.” He laughed derisively. “Maybe it transforms, too. Is there such thing as a savage weregoose, or is that just the same thing as a normal goose?”

Madam Pomfrey seemed to think about it for a moment before she realized it was a joke. She performed a healing spell on the scratch and then smiled at him. “It is good having you back at Hogwarts, Mr. Lupin. Professor Lupin, I should say.” 

It took him a few moments to remember how it worked to smile a genuine smile. He was used to forcing smiles onto his face for appearances, but he didn’t ever feel them. Now though, back at Hogwarts, with people who knew what he was and accepted him--or at least weren’t repulsed by him--he could make the attempt. A small smile played at the corners of his mouth in a weak but mildly successful attempt. Madam Pomfrey took one look at it and pulled him against her for a hug. 

As he sat on the hospital wing cot, letting himself be hugged, he tried very hard to not tear up.

*

It didn’t happen all of a sudden like a lightning bolt strike. But it started with the shock of seeing Peter Pettigrew’s name on the Marauder’s Map and then seeing Sirius Black’s name. The realization of what that meant dawned on Remus even as he hurried across the castle grounds from his office toward the Whomping Willow and the passage beneath it. At first he wondered how Peter could be here, now. He was supposed to be dead. Perhaps he was here to stop Sirius, but how then would he know Sirius was here? It had to be the other way around, had to be Sirius going after Peter to finish him off properly this time after failing twelve years ago. This seemed logical, reasonable. Remus knew he had to rescue Peter from the escaped convict and eternal servant of Lord Voldemort.

But why would Peter only turn up now? Why hadn’t he found Remus years ago? He’d been a social outcast, sure, but it wasn’t as though Remus had been completely unfindable. Peter would have known where to look for him. 

If Remus was honest with himself, none of this made any sense. So he had theories. And hopes. There was a tightness in his chest that came with a hope that Remus had it all wrong. The second he entertained the idea that Sirius was, in fact, innocent, the goose bit him so hard on his arse Remus actually shrieked. 

Pausing in the main doorway to the castle, Remus turned to the goose. “Is this what you’ve been trying to tell me all this time?”

“Honk!” 

Risking another bite in the face, Remus squatted down so that he could look his goose straight in the eye. “Is it Sirius?” 

“Honk!” it repeated. 

“Is Sirius Black my soulmate?” The sick feeling he thought he’d have at the idea of his soulmate being Sirius, murderer of his friends, wasn’t there. Instead, there was nothing but hope and delight. And excitement. “He is, isn’t he? Sirius is my soulmate. Take me to him, please?”

It gave one more “Honk!” and was off again at full speed, this time taking the lead toward the Whomping Willow tree. It seemed to know exactly where to go, and for the first time in his life, Remus knew this, too.

*

“So…” Sirius began but did not finish.

“So…” Remus agreed. 

They let it hang in the air a moment before Sirius slid his arm under Remus’ neck and stroked Remus’ upper arm. In response, Remus rolled over onto his side, pressing himself against Sirius. Remus kissed Sirius’ chest then stretched an arm around across it. It was just as much a gesture of claiming Sirius as his own as it was to administer a warm morning hug. 

Sirius smiled to himself and gave a long blink where he seemed to consider falling back asleep like this. Instead, he rubbed his hand up and down Remus’ back. “How’d you sleep?” 

Remus made a contented little sound. “This was the first morning in more than twenty-two years that I was able to wake up without the threat of being mauled by a goose. So I’d say I slept pretty damn well. How about you?” 

“Let’s see… I have my soul, a safe place to hide out, and the love of my life snuggled next to me in bed. I’d say it was the best sleep of my whole life.”

Remus chuckled. “You always have to outdo me, don’t you?” He nipped Sirius’ chin with a small kiss. “Love of your life, though?”

“It seemed like the sort of thing you’re supposed to be able to say about your soulmate. Sorry, am I using it too soon?”

Remus snuggled in closer. “I waited for you for two decades. It’s definitely not too soon. I just didn’t take you for the shmoopy, sentimental type.”

“But you like it, right?”

“Love it.”

“And that’s why we’re soulmates. I love it, too.” Sirius’ free hand found Remus’ and their fingers threaded together. “I spent too many years fighting, struggling, suffering… and regretting not telling you how I felt when I had the chance. I want every second I’m with you going forward to be full of honesty and affection.”

Remus was quiet again for a while, not because he didn’t know how to answer that, but because he was simply too overwhelmed with happiness to speak. He had always dreamed that finding his soulmate would feel like this, but after so many years of chasing after his goose, he’d resigned himself to believing it was never actually going to happen, that his lot in life was to always be teased by the goose, the idea of a soulmate for him present but just out of reach. He’d gotten used to mornings frantically avoiding its strong pecks and applying bandages to its bites. In a way, he almost missed his goose now that it had vanished. Almost. “You knew, didn’t you? You knew right from the start that my soulmate goose was meant to lead me to you.” 

Sirius was quiet for a while, not because he didn’t know how to answer but supposedly because he was trying to answer with that same honesty and affection he’d just mentioned. “I didn’t know… but I suspected.” 

“How? How could you possibly have known back then that you’d turn out to be my soulmate?”

“Because, Remus Lupin, I knew I wanted you almost from the moment I met you.”

Remus’ emotions were suddenly too big for him. He gave a small sob and buried his face against the side of Sirius’, nuzzling into cheek and chin and neck and shoulder where he felt warm and safe and somehow right at home, even though it was the first time he’d ever done it. 

Sirius continued, “But you were confused about what you wanted, and I knew you well enough to know that if I outed you to yourself, you’d self-destruct. You had to figure it out on your own. But, Merlin, you were slow, even with a soulmate goose trying to help.”

“A broken, crazy, useless soulmate goose!”

“It was just as confused as you were. You wanted a soulmate so badly… you just weren’t ready to admit you’d already met him. Me. Met me, I mean. Maybe I’m not making any sense here. Will you just kiss me again properly so I can stop talking?”

“That, I will happily do.”

**Author's Note:**

> Written during NaNoWriMo 2018.


End file.
